


Fighting The Addiction

by FaMooseSquirrel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Blood Addiction, M/M, Masturbation, Season/Series 05, Teasing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 01:59:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2006700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaMooseSquirrel/pseuds/FaMooseSquirrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the start of Sams' long hard secret love for his brother. The fact the demon blood has controlled him and made Dean disappointed. Sam doesn't like this and yells for his brother several times. When he quiets down he can't believe what he sees before him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Burden

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Coffeeremedies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coffeeremedies/gifts).



> Sorry the first chapter is short but its a build up on what is to come of this. So please enjoy and leave a comment on what you may like to see in the chapters to come. Thank you!

    Sam had been drug back to the bunker and kept putting up a fight with Dean and Castiel. He didn't want to be bound to that bed again. Not again. Especially not seeing his brother the way he does. Dean always looked so disappointed in him and it hurt him down to the core. His heart ached with everything Dean said. "This is for your own good." "You should have known better Sammy." "I thought we were past this." Everything seemed to stab Sam in the chest. Even Castiels' face hurt him. A look of udder betrayal. His wrists were bound now and he struggled to break free while they bound his ankles. 

    "Guys wait! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to it was just there! GUYS!" He yelled and watched the door shut and heard it lock. "GUYS PLEASE!" He screamed. Nothing seemed rightfully. "Dean! Please! I'm your brother! I'm not a monster!" He yelled more and it felt as though his heart was ripping out of his chest. He struggled and moved around a lot just trying to break free from the chains. "Dean! PLEASE! I'M SORRY! THIS WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN!" He cried out. He hated the distance between them and he was hoping Dean was still there listening to him.

    Dean stood outside of the door listening to his brother. "Sammy! This will make you better!" He called back and looked at Cas. "I don't think I can take this, Cas." He sighed and approached him. " I can't take him screaming like that. It really hurts me." He added and his eyes grew glassy. He really didn't like putting Sam through that. It didn't settle right with him at all.

    Castiel nodded and looked into Deans' eyes. "Just give him time. This is for his own good." He responded and watched Dean walk away with his head hung low. He followed after Dean and sighed as he looked back at the door. "I'm sorry, Sam. I wish there was an easier way." He murmured. He continued to walk with Dean till they reached the open room. He stood in the doorway and looked at both Bobby and Dean. 

    Dean went to the fridge and grabbed two beers. One for himself and the other for Bobby. "He's gonna have to stay in that room for a while. I didn't think this would happen again..." He sighed and looked down at his beer. He heard a sigh from Bobby and opened up their beers. He handed Bobby his beer and looked took a swig from his beer. 

    Bobby sighed and held the beer in his hand. "Neither did I. Trust me. Sam wasn't suppose to fall back on the demon blood." He blinked and looked at Deans' face. "He will get better like the last time I swear to you that. You two are just too stupid sometimes to realize what you are doing." He sighed and took a swig from his beer bottle. "Sometimes I think you two will never realize what you two are doing. Do you know what that does to me? You both need to grow up sometimes." He said sternly. 

    Dean just turned his head away and continued to drink from his bottle. "Yeah, well... I'm sorry..." He mumbled and walked out of the house and stood outside. Sams' screams were really starting to get to him. They hurt him more now than they ever had before. He figured it would be easier to deal with and he was wrong. "Why did it come to this? Am I suppose to watch him more?" He sighed and rubbed the back of his hand against his lips. He was trying to keep from crying. 

    Sams' screams seemed to fill the whole house. He was only in there for a couple hours now and he was already in pain from not having any blood. He screamed till he lost his voice. It was scratchy and quiet. He kept calling for Dean or Castiel but, no one came to his rescue. "Dean? Cas? Anyone?" He cried through a whisper. Dean showed several times in his room calling him a monster or a good for nothing. Tears fell from the corner of his eyes and his landed on the pillow soaking the fabric. "Dean... I'm not a monster... I'm sorry I did this... Please forgive me..." He spoke in a pained tone. A different Dean from his subconscious appeared across the bed with a smirk on his face.

   The Dean acted like him and sounded like him but he knew he wasn't Dean. "You've been bad, Sammy. I don't like it when you drink Demon blood." He spoke lowly and grinned. He fumbled with his pants while he sat at the base of the bed. He pulled his pants down a bit along with his boxers a little. "Seeing you like this gets pretty arousing you know?" He chuckled and wrapped his hand around his own length. He grinned and looked down at Sams' priceless expression. He knew he had strained his voice from screaming and he knew Sam could only watch him and he was absolutely okay with that. He slowly stroked himself while he looked down at Sam. "You like to watch don't you?" He teased. "Yet you don't even have the courage to tell me that you want me." He chuckled and shivered as he teased the head of his own member. "C'mon Sammy. Let's be real here. I wouldn't say no to a face like that." He grinned.

    Sam shivered a little and swallowed a bit, just watching his brother play with himself. He listened to his every word and his heart began to flutter in his chest. His tears pretty much ended just at the site of this Dean instead of the others. This one, even though he's teasing him, comforted him in a way. He just knew that with all of the disappointing things hes done Dean would never even look at him the same or talk to him the same. This Dean is one he would want to see all the time. 

    The Dean before him smirked and chuckled. He groaned when he started to stroke himself more and squeezed at himself some. "Oh Sammy, this would be better if it was me inside of you. Why don't you just come tell me that you love me and want to fool around." He teased more and watched Sam squirm for some attention. "Oh I'm sorry. Am I turning you on?" He laughed and spit on his hand, then went back to stroking himself more. "Oh I'll play with you till you're upfront with me alright?" He teased more and more just getting a rise out of Sams' expressions. 

   Sam squirmed and tried to look away from the fake Dean. He couldn't find himself to even avert his eyes. He couldn't stop listening to him either. His heart ached with guilt. He knew it was wrong but he wanted Dean so bad. He had to have him no matter what Dean would think or say. If it called for Dean having to be asleep most of the time then he would just suck him off. He needed his brother more than ever now. He didn't want to be alone. He quickly closed his eyes and tried to shut the fake Dean out. "You're not real. You're trying to make me feel better and it's working a little, but I can't have you or touch you and you can't touch me." He sighed and laid there. He opened his eyes and he was alone again. The room was silent and he had no voice left to scream anyway. He just closed his eyes and fell asleep. He had nothing better to do anyway. He had to ignore the pain of his body and his aching heart. His head throbbed and he could barely get himself to sleep yet he managed. This wasn't the end of it and he knew it. 


	2. Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its a new day for Sam. Working through his detoxing from demon blood. He's begging for mercy and yet it seems so far away.

    Its been a couple days since he was admitted in the panic room and yet his screams seemed to continue to go ignored. He felt alone and he was horrified. The hallucinations never stopped and his nightmares continued. He felt like he couldn't cry anymore just yell in agony. His heart felt like it snapped in two and his eyes were puffy and red. He squirmed and yelled out. He wasn't screaming for his brother anymore just for help because of the pain. He wanted it to end. He knew it wouldn't end for a long time and it pained him more. Everyone seemed to show up in the room now and nothing changed from what they told him. He was still a monster no matter what he thought he was. He was starting to believe every word that has been said to him. Just as he was starting to believe them that one Dean from yesterday seemed to show himself again. He started to comfort him and talk to him. He kept telling him to ignore the others. They weren't right. He was different on the inside. He was a better man than they thought of him. He was never a monster. He was misguided. A small smile crept to each corner of his face and he closed his eyes. "Thank.... You...." He spoke weakly. A jolt of pain quickly filled his entire body and he lifted his body from the bed, screaming out loudly. They filled the house yet again. This time no one was even in it besides Bobby. 

    Bobby listened to Sam scream in pain and he knew how bad it must have felt. He hated hearing Sam this way so most of the time he was drunk. Like now he has had a full bottle of jack and he was lounging around to look for some new things to help Dean out on his hunts. He did his best to ignore Sam so he could at least work through it himself. He wanted so bad to help him but he knew he couldn't.

    Sam shuddered and cried yet again. He heard a familiar voice and it was that same Dean again. "Just calm down. I'm not gonna leave you Sammy." The voice said and instantly Sam calmed down. He knew then he wasn't alone even if this Dean was just an allusion. He relaxed himself no matter how many jolts of pain almost made him squirm. He sighed instead to make himself feel better. 

    The illusion of Dean sat by him on the floor and touched Sams' hand. "I'll be right here baby boy. I'm not going anywhere." He smiled and rested his head on the bed. "Sammy, I'm so proud of you for getting through this." He added happily and kissed Sams' fingers. "I'm not gonna go anywhere. Not till I know for sure you're better." He continued on. He was the only thing that was actually comforting Sam in his time of need. He watched Sams' face lighten and look at him with just joy and no pain. 

    Sam smiled and lowered his eyes. "Thank you Dean. This means everything to me." He spoke softly and closed his eyes. Forcing himself to sleep. He didn't want to feel this pain anymore and the only way he could do that is sleep. He didn't want this pain anymore and he didn't want do drink blood anymore. Normally that was the goal of this. To make sure Sam didn't want to drink the blood anymore. 

 

\-------------------- _ **A couple weeks pass**   **by---------------------**_ _  
_

 

    Dean had just come back from a hunt and looked at Bobby. "Hows he doing?" He asked calmly and put his bag down on the floor near the door. He kept himself busy for so long he forgot to come by regularly and check on Sam. 

    Bobby looked up at Dean and rose a brow. "Well, it's nice to see you too, Dean. Sams' fine. He hasn't been screaming lately so that must mean he's alright. We could always walk in there and check. That's only if you're up for it." He explained. "Earlier in the week he was begging for Mercy and I couldn't do a Damn thing." He scoffed and got up walking with Dean to the panic room. 

    Dean hesitantly opened the door and looked inside. Sam was a mess but, he wasn't screaming or squirming around. He was actually sleeping. "At least he's sleeping." He said towards Bobby. He walked up to Sam and nudged him a bit. "Hey. Sammy?" He smiled and got the hair out of his face. "Are you alright?" He asked curiously.

    Sam felt the nudge and quickly moved about and looked up at Dean. "Huh?" He responded and looked back at Bobby then at Dean again. "Yeah. I'm all good. No more pain really." He answered and then felt his ankles be freed from the shackles and his wrists as well. "I can get out of here?" He questioned excitedly. 

    Dean nodded and smiled down at Sam. "You need a shower though. So you better go get one and stretch out your legs." He laughed and helped Sam up from the bed. He helped him walk to the bathroom and shut the door so he could shower on his own instead of have him in there with him. Sam was a grown man after all.

    Sam looked around the bathroom and smiled. This wasn't a dream this time. He was actually out. He turned on the shower and got his clothes off quickly. "Dean?! I'm gonna need new clothes!" He called out and then quickly got in the shower. Just the water itself felt really good. He was gonna make sure every bit of him was clean. He didn't want to miss a single spot.

    Dean chuckled and shook his head. He walked around the corner and got Sam some clothes. He walked back to the bathroom and walked in putting Sams' clothes on the counter then quickly leaving so he didn't see anything. He shut the door and then walked out to where Bobby and Cas were. "Alright so he's taking his shower. He seems to be great. I'm expecting no problems from here on out. Well I'm hoping at least." He said in a rather happy tone. 

    Castiel cocked his head and narrowed his eyebrows. "He won't have any problems in the future?" He asked in a low husked tone. He wasn't too sure about this but lets be honest here. When is he ever sure about something like this?

    Dean chuckled a little and nodded. "Yeah. Knowing him he isn't gonna want to go through this shit again." He responded and sat down at the table. He leaned back in the chair and started to relax. He knew Sam was gonna be a while in the shower. He knew Sam more than anyone in the room. 

    Sam was just rinsing off his body and rinsing out his hair now. He just put the conditioner in his hair and sighed in complete content. "I'm gonna miss that Dean..." He sighed and started to rinse his hair. "But the real Dean is better than a fake any day." He chuckled and got out of the shower. He dried off and scrubbed the towel against his hair to dry it enough. He looked at the clothes and started to get dressed. When he finished he picked up the dirty clothes and threw them away. He walked out of the bathroom and then walked out to where they were. 

    _Soon enough everything seemed normal and they returned to hunting. Sam thought everyone forgot about it and it was like he never did it in the first place. That was never the case though. Sam never forgot. He would never forget what happened. His feelings for his brother only grew stronger and swelled within him more._


	3. Adjustment

    Hunting really hasn't been the same after Sams' incident with demon blood again. Dean teases him about every demon they encounter. Saying things like, "Are you thirsty?" or "You're not thinking about drinking him are you?" Sam was growing tired of the teasing but he knew he deserved it. He hasn't hallucinated either and frankly he was missing the Dean that always comforted him and gave him the attention he was longing for from his brother. Dean was being a pain in the ass as normal and nothing seemed to just go the way he thought it would. Then again he should have known this was coming. 

    Sam watched his brother and shook his head. "I told you I wasn't going to drink demon blood anymore. I don't want to feel that kind of pain anymore. I don't want to see what I saw anymore." He bluntly spoke to his brother. There was that one Dean he missed nothing more. If he could he would drink just a little demon blood just to see him again. He felt a little loss and disgusting for even thinking about it. But he really missed the comfort he had gotten. 

    "Good. I hope you learned your lesson Sammy. I don't want to have to listen to you scream anymore." Dean sighed and picked up their stuff taking it to the trunk of the car after cleaning up the mess they created. "I just hope everything's okay with you mentally." He added and walked to the drivers side door. 

    Sam lowered his head and glanced up at Dean. "I'm fine I swear." He simply replied and walked to the passenger side. He opened the door and got in the impala. He shut the door and just waited for Dean to finish whatever he was doing.

    Dean walked back over to the trunk after placing his gun in the seat. He shut the trunk and walked back to his open door. He got in the car after moving his gun. "Alright. Now to find a place to stay at till we find more shit to do." He sighed and cranked up the car, listening to the engine purr, as he puts it. 

    Sam looked over at his brother and then out the window. He didn't want to say anything about what he wants from him. He lowered his eyes and sighed. His dreams lately have only been filled with Dean. Nothing but Dean teasing him and teasing him. Leaving him to wake up from the dream with morning wood. Almost every night it was the same and he could barely look at Dean. Since the way Dean looks at him now was different than before. Sam thought everything seemed normal till he really started looking at everyone. The only person that never treated him any different was Cas. Cas just seemed to forgive him of what he's done and it always made him feel better. Lately Sam has felt empty and lonely. Nothing seemed like it would fix that. Not even Dean or Bobby. All he wanted was Dean to forgive him. That seemed so far out of reach. 

    Sam eventually fell asleep with his head against the window. His dreams haunted him and this time it felt so real. "Dean?" He asked and looked at his brother. He noticed his brother just get off his bed and walked to Sams' bed. he watched Dean crawl into his bed and on top of him. Sam felt his brothers lips graze against his neck. "Dean? What are you-?" He stopped himself before he could finish his question. He didn't want to ask. He just wanted to enjoy this from his brother.

    Dean straddled his brother and ran his hands up his sides. "Shhh... Don't speak, Sammy. Just take it okay?" He spoke softly and ran his hands up to Sams' chest. He lifted his head and planted his lips against his brothers, parting them occasionally to slip his tongue into Sams' mouth. It wasn't too sloppy of a kiss but, well worth it.

    Sam knew this was a dream and he was going to enjoy it since this is what he wants. He wants to feel his brother just  _love_ him. He almost hoped he would never wake up from this dream. He kissed his brother back and ran a hand to the back of Deans' head. He rolled his hips up into Deans' ass. He has been wanting this for so long and yet only his dreams could satisfy his needs. It hurt him a little but, he was getting use to it. All he wanted to do was sleep. Just so he could have this Dean. Just this one because this is the one that wants to be with him and around him. This is the one that comforts him when he has his moments. 

    Dean broke the kiss and looked deep into Sams' eyes. "Sammy? I love you, never forget that." He whispered and pecked his lips in a slow repeated pattern. "I just want you to love me back. Okay? Don't even think about what has happened just tell me that you love me too." He added and sat straight up, grinding himself down on him.

    Sam was surprised. This was new even for his dreams. This wasn't said in any previous dreams. Was this one trying to tell him something? "I love you too Dean. I always have. You know that." He smiled and lowered his eyes, running his hands down his sides. He licked his lips and sat up completely, wrapping his big arms around Deans' waist. He kissed up on his neck and licked up his skin to his ear. He could hear a faint yell of his name and he glanced around the room. It got louder and before he knew he he jumped and looked around again seeing he was in the car. He looked at Dean who looked a little frustrated and rubbed his face.

    "Well hello there sleeping beauty. We have a room lets go." Dean said in a stern manor and stood up. He sighed and grabbed some stuff from the trunk including Sams' bag. "What were you dreaming about anyway?" He questioned and narrowed his brows.

    Sam looked at him and shrugged. "I don't really remember. All I know is I heard you yell at me to try and wake me up." He responded and took his bag from Dean. He walked with him to their room and watched him open it. He gave a soft sigh and walked in after Dean. He shut the door and dropped his bag onto his bed. "If I remember I'll be sure to tell you. How about that?" He teased and walked to the bathroom.

    Dean mocked him a little and put his stuff down. he plopped himself on the bed and watched the bathroom door shut. He rolled his eyes and just laid there. He heard the shower start and groaned. "He's gonna be in there a while..." He muttered.

    Sam undressed himself and stood in the shower. He sighed and looked down at his half hard cock. He wrapped his hand around it and slowly started stroking himself. He stood under the water and placed a hand on the wall. He stroked himself more and closed his eyes just thinking of Dean. He groaned a little from squeezing himself and then stroked himself a little faster. He couldn't seem to help himself anymore. He wanted Dean and he knew he couldn't have him without trying to talk to him. He also knew Dean wouldn't even want to do anything with him. His heart ached almost but he continued to think about he and his brother finally getting to have sex. That always helped him get off. 

    When he was done with his shower and fixing his little issue, he got out to dry himself off and walked out to get dressed. He laid down on the bed after putting his bag on the floor. "Goodnight, Dean." He spoke loudly and just rolled to his side after covering himself up. 

    Dean was surprised by this and just shrugged it off. "Goodnight, Sammy." He responded and rolled over as well with his eyes half open. Even he didn't like the change between them. He missed the good times they had. He wanted it back and he knew he couldn't get it back either. He didn't know what Sam wanted and it frustrated him. He wanted to do more for Sam. He wanted to help him. He laid there awake and just listened to the silence in the room. He wanted to go back in time to where Sam smiled more and talked with him like it was no big deal. Where they would tease each other and nothing would be wrong. He wanted the old days back and he couldn't have them. He wanted to make Sam smile again and he had to figure out a way to do that.


End file.
